Cascade Locks to Snoqualmie Pass

I’ve fallen way behind on updates. Washington proved to be challenging and remote, so free time and cell service were limited. The weather worsened, and I had to race to beat winter as cooling temperatures and incoming snow threatened to derail my hike. Still, Washington was rugged and beautiful. Here’s how the first half of the last state of the PCT went.

August 22nd – Day 131

I’ll pick up where I left off, crossing the Bridge of the Gods into Washington and heading up into the mountains. The Columbia River is the lowest point on the trail, nearly at sea level, so I had a substantial climb to get back up to typical trail elevation of about 5,000 – 7,000 ft. I’d started to realize that by this point, I was just about the slowest person left on trail (or at least where I was on trail). While many slower hikers had started at the Mexican border in the spring, most had dropped out. I had left the Cascade Locks before the bulk of the massive group that had congregated for Trail Days, but over the course of the afternoon I was passed by dozens of hikers on the climb up, and I passed no one. I started to feel discouraged. I knew Washington would be difficult, and I started to worry that I might not make it if I couldn’t keep up. I sent a text to the group letting them know I didn’t think I’d make it to the planned campsite, and letting them know where I thought I’d be instead.

At a final water source I heard another hiker talking about how she’d felt really bad the night before and had to call a family member for support to keep going. It helped to know that I wasn’t the only one feeling down. I arrived at where I’d planned to camp at a dirt road crossing and found it packed. Every campsite was taken due to the bubble of hikers leaving Cascade Locks at the same time. I managed to find a place to cowboy camp squeezed into some trees. Half Moon was also camping there, and not with the rest of the group, so we ate dinner together as the light faded. That was the first time we noticed that it was starting to get darker earlier. Fall was definitely on the way.

August 23rd – Day 132

It was a frigid morning and everyone had a hard time leaving camp at a reasonable hour. I finally managed to hit the trail around 8 and I raced along the mountain, hoping to catch up with the rest of the group. I made good time and I caught up with them at a river before a dirt road.

At the river Baby Bigfoot announced that she was getting off trail again. Her foot was hurting and she didn’t want to reinjure it. She planned to hitch hike at a nearby road crossing back to Cascade Locks and get a bus into Portland. We were sad because we’d miss her, but she was okay with having to leave, and happy that she’d given it another try. At the road we said goodbye to Baby Bigfoot and walked up the road, taking a detour to see a waterfall before rejoining with the trail.

The group chatted as we walked up the paved, lightly trafficked road. I was walking fast, but I quickly fell behind as I fell out of the conversation and the rest of the group kept going without me. I felt pretty bad about myself. It was just a simple road walk, but I still couldn’t keep up, and they still didn’t want to wait for me. I wasn’t even sure if they’d noticed that I’d fallen out of the conversation. I was the expendable member of the g I’ve always had a hard time making close friendships. I’ve been told that I’m a closed off person, although I don’t feel like I am. I’ve frequently been in situations where other people seem to develop close friendships, but I don’t. In high school I spent six weeks at a science camp with some of the biggest nerds in the world, but I left without feeling like I was close enough with anyone to keep in touch with. When I worked at a summer camp all of the counselors would hang out at the tennis courts at night, but I was never invited. I could never get close to people, no matter how hard I tried.

I was in a sorority in college, and in my third year we went through a bonding exercise at a retreat. Everyone wrote down the names of three girls they felt they’d be friends with forever. Then, one by one, each person read out the names and a longer and longer chain was formed as people linked up when their name was called. The idea of the game was that by the end the chain would form a giant circle with everyone in it, but this exercise didn’t turn out that way. The chain closed into a circle before everyone’s name had been read, leaving myself and a couple other girls on the outside. I was left to stand there wondering why no one felt like I’d be a friend for the long run. Not making close relationships was one of my fears for the trail, and it was becoming a reality. I felt horrible about myself, and I debated trying to run to catch up. I knew that I didn’t want to keep feeling this way for my time remaining on trail, but I wasn’t sure how to fix it. I agonized over what to do, and I wished for a sign.

When I got to the waterfall I finally got my answer, in the form of a literal sign. A sign that read “Restoration Site, Do Not Go Beyond This Point” was posted about 50 feet before the waterfall, and beyond that sign was my entire group. We as PCT thru-hikers pay $0 to hike the trail. It’s a privilege to be given full access to hike and camp anywhere we want. We should be model examples of LNT principles, and the least we can do is respect environmental closures. I decided that I didn’t want to feel this way over a group of people that couldn’t respect a restoration site, and I decided to focus on doing my own thing. After leaving the waterfall we made camp a little off the road near some trees. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and I knew I’d made the right decision.

August 24th – Day 133

The next morning I slept in. I finished up the road walk and rejoined the trail. The trail here follows a ridge, and at one point I could see Mt. St. Helens to my left and Mt. Adams to my right. I also passed the 2200 mile marker. It was a nice day and I was grateful for a day that was finally both warm and sunny. Summer wasn’t quite over. I also felt much better without the weight of feeling like I needed to catch up to the rest of the group. It was freeing to not have to feel like not catching up before lunch was a failure on my part.

It was late by the time I got to where I thought the group would be camped. They weren’t there, and I still felt the sting of feeling left behind, but I tried to remind myself that it didn’t matter anymore, that this was what I wanted and that I’d feel better over time. I cowboy camped along the creek and watched the stars, which were beautiful that night.

August 25th – Day 134

I got up early and raced the 10 miles to a nearby forest road to make a 10:30 am shuttle to the town of Trout Lake. The road into Trout Lake is lightly trafficked, so the townspeople generously set up a volunteer shuttle service running four times a day from the trail into town. When I got there I was shocked to find 14 people waiting for the shuttle, including Half Moon. He said that the group had camped where I had camped, and I must have just missed them on the other side of the river. Pez, Keebler, Posideon, and Wiggles had managed to make the 9:30 shuttle. I was shocked. I’d gotten up early and practically ran to get to the road in time. There was no way I could have made the shuttle at 9:30. I felt reassured in my decision to stay behind. I really couldn’t keep up.

We tried to hitch hike while we waited for the shuttle. A car stopped but said they could only take two people, so we sent the two people who had been waiting the longest while the rest of us continued to wait. When the shuttle arrived there were still 12 people that needed a ride into town. Slowly we packed people into the truck in the order that they had arrived at the road, with Half Moon and I last. It didn’t look like there would be room for Half Moon, so I said I’d stay behind to hitch hike in with him because I knew he’d have an easier time if I was there, but the rest of the group squeezed in tighter so that we could wedge ourselves in.

The back of the covered truck was so packed that I couldn’t even get a good picture of everyone. We managed to fit 13 people in the truck. When we got to the town of Trout Lake neither Half Moon or I had cell service, so we walked around town looking for the rest of the group. We tried the general store, then the post office, then a nearby campground, but we couldn’t find them. We headed back into town and saw Pez at the general store, who told us they were getting breakfast. Half Moon and I headed over, and by the time we got there it was lunch. We ate and asked around about getting a hotel room, but there was some sort of conference in town and every room for 20 miles was booked, so our only choices were either to stay in the campground or stay in a local church that was hosting hikers. The church didn’t want hikers setting up before 7 pm because there would be an AA meeting there that evening, so we settled on the campground.

After lunch Half Moon and I headed back to the general store, which offers free laundry to hikers. There was a line, so we waited on the lawn and charged things. I resupplied at the store and chatted with some locals, who were clearly overwhelmed by the dozens of hikers inundating their tiny town every day, but were still very kind. Half Moon begrudgingly became the manager of the laundry line. In the early afternoon a woman showed up and set up a table. She explained that she was from Portland and was buying huckleberries to sell there. Huckleberries can not be farmed, so they must be collected wild which is a time consuming process. She was offering $70 a gallon, and if I had been low on cash I might have taken her up on it.

Finally our laundry was done, so I resupplied, packed up, and headed to the campground, but not before being harassed by the town drunk. At the campground Half Moon and I joined Pez, Wiggles, Keebler, and Posideon at their site. We ordered pizza for dinner and played a few card games before bed. As we were showering at the campground showers Wiggles realized he couldn’t find the clothes he’d washed. He went back to the general store and found only his socks and a buff, everything else was gone. He searched the trash and asked around, but he never found anything. We were shocked that someone would take his clothes. Wiggles would have to make due with only the clothes on his back and his jacket until we got to a town big enough to sell replacements.

August 26th – Day 135

The next morning as we were packing up Pez noticed that his power bank and charger were gone. Someone had taken thin in the middle of the night. We were shocked that so much theft was happening, when it hadn’t been an issue at any point before, and we decided we were happy to head out and get back on trail. We snagged spots in an early shuttle. As we waited at the general store for the shuttle to arrive I told Pez that I didn’t think I could keep up with them anymore and that I thought it best if I hiked alone. He shrugged and said that he wished he could say it would change, but he didn’t think it would.

Clouds started rolling in as we stopped for lunch. The group was still there when I arrived, but left quickly. I ate lunch with Half Moon, Alaska, and Fig Newton. I complained about cell service, as I hadn’t had any in Trout Lake at all. I needed to transfer money from an online savings account to my checking account, but I hadn’t been able to log in for a few days because I couldn’t get texts for two factor authentication. Fig Newton asked which carrier I had and I told her. She was shocked because she had the same one and had great service. I sat there, wondering how that was possible, and then I remembered that my debit card had expired recently, and I had had my phone bill on auto pay on my debit card. After it expired, the bill hadn’t been paid and they must have shut it off. I’d need wifi to turn it back on, and I wasn’t sure where wifi would next be available, as White Pass, the next town, was only a gas station.

The weather got worse, but after a difficult river crossing I managed to get to camp only about an hour after it started raining, so I was still somewhat dry. The camp was a large clearing and it was packed. I grabbed one of the last spots and headed underneath Keebler’s tarp to eat dinner. I told the group about my cell phone woes and explained that I was low on cash until I could get texts again, and they assured me that we’d stick together until it was figured out.

August 27th – Day 136

The next morning was covered in dense fog. Half Moon told me that the plan was to camp before a beautiful section of trail called “Knife’s Edge” unless the weather was clear. I liked the plan and looked forward to hiking through Knife’s Edge together. It was said to be the most beautiful part of the trail in Washington. I just hoped the weather would clear enough to see the views.

The weather cleared a bit in the early afternoon. At the top of a pass I met Bedtime Story and AC/DC. I told them about my phone woes and they commiserated with me. We all planned to camp at the same spot. I told BTS that the rest of the group would be there, too, and he was looking forward to camping with them. He was surprised to hear that I was part of the group, because he hadn’t seen me with them on trail. I explained that I was slower than them so we didn’t hike together, and sometimes we didn’t camp together. He asked if they at least saved me a spot at camp every night, and I told him they didn’t. “That sucks”, he responded, “they could at least do that”. Part of me knew he was right. We decided to hike together for the next part of the trail, which was beautiful. As we headed towards Old Snowy we could see clouds covering the peak. Knife’s Edge would be foggy. I got to the planned campsite right behind BTS and he told me he didn’t know where the rest of my group was.

I set my stuff down and told him I’d go look for them. I thought about two nights prior, when I thought they’d left but had really just been on the other side of the river. I didn’t want to miss them again. The campsite was right at the edge of the thick fog bank, so one second I was engulfed in dense fog and the next was clear. I headed up the trail and called for the rest of the group, but my voice didn’t carry far in the wind. I heard voices and headed to them. It was a couple setting up camp who told me that my friend was just ahead. I pushed forward looking for the group, but instead I found AC/DC, hunkering down in her tent in the wind and the fog. The couple had been talking about her. By this time I was above the treeline and I couldn’t see the trail due to the dense fog. The wind was blowing strong and I was suddenly worried that if I kept looking I might get lost without my SOS device, my phone, or my gear. I felt like an idiot, wandering around in the storm looking for people who had just left me behind, again.

I wandered back to BTS and found a couple sites tucked into some trees that were mostly protected from the wind. I chatted with BTS and tried to keep my spirits up, but I was hurt again. I’d thought I’d be okay, but the disappointment of being left behind again made the hurt feel fresh. Had they gone ahead in the storm? I couldn’t understand it. I assumed they probably wanted to be in and out of White Pass if they were rushing, but I’d need to stay so that I could get wifi and get my phone turned back on. I sent a satellite message to my dad asking if he could book a room at the motel next to the gas station. I was worried they might fill up on a weekend. He agreed, and I felt relieved knowing I’d have a room to stay in for the following night. That night was cold, but fortunately I was protected from the wind and I slept well.

August 28th – Day 137

The next morning was clear and the sunrise was beautiful. I got up and headed up the trail, thankful that the storm had cleared. I wasn’t in a rush, so I decided to hike up Old Snowy. It was a bit if a scramble to the top, but the views made it worth it. At the top I found BTS, and he took my picture.

After Old Snowy I headed back down to Knife’s Edge, a portion of trail with steep drop offs on either side. It was a fun bit of trail to hike, and I took many breaks admiring the views. I even saw a herd of snowy white mountain goats on a grassy slope nearby. There was a lot of snow remaining in this section of trail and as the day heated I could hear the glaciers crack in the distance.

After Knife’s Edge the trail descended into a beautiful meadow where I stopped for a break and to refill water. It was an amazingly beautiful spot. I was suddenly hit with a wave of sadness again. It would have been so nice to be there with the group. I felt hurt that even in a place as beautiful as this, they couldn’t wait for me. I was so tired of not feeling good enough, and I tried to remind myself that I was happier hiking on my own, but I still felt like a failure when I thought about finishing the trail alone. What would this experience mean if I didn’t finish with any lasting friendships? One of my fears had been not being able to make friends, and it was happening. I wished I could talk to someone about it, but not having phone service made that impossible.

BTS noticed that I was crying and asked if I wanted to talk about it. I just explained that I was feeling bad about losing my group, and I couldn’t get used to the idea of finishing alone. He told me that the loneliest I’d ever feel was after I’d lost a good group of friends, because I knew what I lost but I didn’t know what was ahead. He assured me that I would have so many incredible moments, and that I’d meet so many amazing people, I just didn’t know it yet. He advised that I acknowledge the loneliness, grieve the loss of the group, and then move on. The night before BTS and I discovered that we were both huge Taylor Swift fans, so he told me to put on my favorite T Swift breakup songs and treat it like a breakup. I felt a lot better after I took his advice and tried to appreciate the truly stunning scenery as I continued on.

I got to White Pass in the late afternoon and was surprised to find the group waiting there. They told me that they had gotten a hotel room. I was shocked. I had assumed that the reason they had pushed ahead was to be able to be in and out of White Pass, but they hadn’t. They’d left me behind only to sit around at a gas station? I couldn’t understand it. I felt so hurt. I retreated to my own hotel room and I couldn’t bring myself to leave. I got my phone turned back on and sat around feeling sorry for myself. Why wasn’t I good enough to wait for? Why couldn’t they wait for me somewhere so beautiful?

August 29th – Day 138

I woke up the next morning and decided that I needed to say something. I sent a text to the group explaining how I felt and that I needed to do my own thing to be happy. I waited in my room until checkout so that the group would leave before me. I didn’t want to feel tempted to try to catch them. I headed back to the gas station at 11 to do my resupply. To my surprise, Half Moon was still there. He said he didn’t feel like leaving that early and wanted to hang out a bit more. After I finished putting together five days of food from only a gas station, I grabbed some lunch and headed back to the trail with Half Moon.

It was a very warm day, probably the first time I’d felt hot since mid-Oregon, and I was sweating. I passed a few beautiful lakes on the way up. Half Moon and I ate lunch together at one of them and picked a camp site for the night. I was surprised that he didn’t want to camp with the rest of the group because he had hiked so fast to catch up to them, but grateful to have someone to camp with.

I passed the 2300 mile marker and headed towards the planned campsite. I crossed a river and Half Moon came out of the trees to show me where the site was, a little off trail. It was a nice warm evening and I was grateful to have a night where I didn’t need to immediately jump into my sleeping bag. I wasn’t sure how much more of those I had left.

August 30th – Day 139

The next morning was cold and foggy again, with intermittent spitting rain. Half Moon and I hoped it would be clear by the time we ate lunch at a lake, but it didn’t look promising. When I got to the lake it was cold and windy. I didn’t know if I could find Half Moon, but he had watched for me from the lunch spot so that he could flag me down. We both wished we’d had a microgrid fleece to keep us warm as we ate lunch and shivered.

We got to a major road crossing near the entrance of Mt Rainier National Park and found not one, but TWO groups giving out trail magic. A man was making sandwiches on one side of the parking lot and a couple made tacos and chocolate cake on the other. Half Moon and I settled next to the tacos and dug in. It was freezing, so we put on all our layers to keep warm while we ate. I asked the couple if it was usually this cold in late August. The woman said no, but it could also be cold at any time up here. She said that one year they came up on Labor Day and it was freezing rain. She said hikers quit then and there and begged her for a ride to Seattle. I guess it could have been worse.

Half Moon and I headed out in the afternoon to get to camp. As we hiked on we passed many locals picking huckleberries on the trail. I thought about the woman at Trout Lake buying huckleberries for $70 and understood why someone would go to the trouble.

As we hiked on it got colder and windier. By the time I was only a few miles from camp I took out my phone to check my map and the cold wind made the battery drain from 40% almost immediately and my phone shut off. Half Moon and I finally got to a spring for water and camped in a clump of trees immediately after. It was absolutely freezing and spitting rain. I could hardly get enough feeling in my fingers to set up my tent, despite having gloves on. Six hikers squeezed tents into a space meant for three. I had a hard time imagining what the weather would be like the rest of the year if it was this cold in late August.

August 31st – Day 140

The next morning was freezing and foggy. I packed up my tent around 8 and started hiking with all of my layers on. Fortunately it cleared up fairly quickly and things got a little warmer as the day went on. The trail went through a large burn zone here.

In the early afternoon it still hadn’t warmed up much. Half Moon and I stopped at a ski cabin for lunch. The cabin had a wood burning stove, and us still frozen hikers couldn’t resist lighting the fire. It was incredible, and many hikers started setting up their sleeping bags to camp there despite it only being early afternoon. Half Moon and I almost caved, but eventually worked up the will power to keep going into the cold.

We hiked on in the cold evening. Spitting rain started again, and I passed a few people and trucks on the dirt roads. They were hunters out scouting the area for the upcoming Elk hunting season. Finally I approached the saddle where Half Moon and I decided to camp. I didn’t see him and I thought he might have gone forward, but he stumbled out of the woods and showed me the hidden campsites. I was very grateful. He even found rocks for me while I set up my tent because there were none in the area and it seemed like it might be a windy night. Fortunately the wind died down and it was just cold. I ate inside my tent again because it was too cold to be outside.

Sept 1st – Day 141

I woke up and ate breakfast in my tent. As I was eating I noticed what looked like mouse poop in my tent. I searched the mesh of my tent but couldn’t find a hole. I thought I might have imagined it, but then I found more. I searched again and this time found a hole in the door of my tent. A mouse had chewed it’s way in in the night. I sighed, patched it up, and packed up my tent. Having a mouse chew into my tent was one of my worst fears when I started trail, but at this point I was numb to it. I was just glad the mouse had found it’s way out before I woke up. I would have hated to have a terrified mouse trapped in my tent as I tried to get it out. I was also glad the mouse didn’t seem to have gotten into my food at all. Maybe he was just cold and looking for warmth?

Frost covered the ground that morning and I hiked in many layers again. It was cold, and I noticed that some of the leaves were changing color and the undergrowth was already a bright red. It was September 1st and it was already fall here. I worried about the cold for the rest of the hike.

I hiked at a relaxed pace most of the day and made camp in the early evening. Half Moon wasn’t there, so I assumed he must have gone ahead. I also got a few views of Mt. Ranier in the afternoon, after it had been covered in clouds for many of the previous days.

Sept 2nd – Day 142

I got up and headed towards Snoqualmie Pass, my next town stop. I couldn’t resist stopping frequently to eat Huckleberries on the way. Half Moon was ahead of me the entire morning, and I couldn’t help but start to feel bad about myself again. I would get into town alone and I’d have to eat alone. I felt like a loser, not having anyone to eat with. I again wondered why I wasn’t good enough.

I reminded myself that even if I hadn’t “broken up” with my group I still would have had to eat alone, because they always got to town before me but never waited for me, so I would have eaten alone anyway, but this time it was my choice. That made me feel a little better, and I thought about how much happier I had been hiking on my own. I knew that I’d made the right choice.

When I got to Snoqualmie Pass Half Moon texted me that he was tired and had gotten a hotel room for the night and asked if I wanted to split it. I was so glad, because I too was exhausted and in need of a shower. I stopped by to drop off my stuff in the room and we headed to lunch together, where Half Moon polished off an impressive 3 plates of food. Afterwards I got my resupply done and hung out around town. Pez, Wiggles, Posideon, and Keebler were not planning on staying in town, so they asked if they could use the room’s shower before they hiked out. We agreed, but I felt a little used. If they wanted to shower, why didn’t they just stay the night instead of hiking a couple extra miles? What was the rush?

We said goodbye to Pez, Wiggles, Keebler, and Posideon as they left to keep hiking. I took my clothes and Half Moon’s clothes to the laundry room to get them washed. While I waited I chatted with another hiker I hadn’t seen in a while. I asked him how his hike was going and he shook his head and said “I’m not sure if I’m thru-hiking, or if I’m through hiking”. He explained that he was feeling ready to be done. That’s when it hit me. I was still thru-hiking, while the rest of my group was through hiking. They were ready to be done, and I wasn’t. Them rushing ahead had nothing to do with me, they were just over the trail, and I wasn’t. I wasn’t ready to rush through, I still had views to see and adventures to experience. With that realization I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. All of the hurt and resentment I felt melted away. I understood why they had to hike the way they did, but I was going to do my own thing. I went to bed excited to tackle the second half of Washington without having to rush.

Until next time,

Megan “Fire Ant” Spencer